The truth is, transformation isn’t just about thinking differently for a day or two—it’s about rewiring your brain for deep, lasting change. And the key to starting that process? Something deceptively simple but incredibly powerful: awareness.
Your Brain on Autopilot
By the time you’re 35 years old, 95% of who you are has become a memorized program. Every thought you have, every behavior, every emotional response—it’s all been repeated so many times that it’s become automatic. We often say, ‘That’s just who I am’, but what we don’t realize is that our brain has created a set of subconscious programs that drives us without even thinking.
It’s like driving down the same road every day. Over time, the route becomes second nature, and you don’t even have to think about it. The more you travel that road, the more ingrained it becomes, and eventually, that road feels like the only way to go. That’s exactly what happens with our thoughts and behaviors. Over time, they solidify into a roadmap—one that dictates who we are and how we experience the world.
When it’s time to change, here’s what’s really happening: you’re trying to use just 5% of your conscious mind to go up against the 95% of your subconscious programming. That’s why real, lasting change feels like such an uphill battle!
And this is why awareness is so important for change. Because although we have a subconscious that’s running the show, us humans can become aware of our own patterns in thoughts, feelings and behaviors through metacognition. And only when we become aware of things, we can change it. Makes sense? Awareness is the sweet spot where real transformation begins.
The magic of neuroplasticity
So, how do you break these deeply ingrained patterns? The good news is that your brain has the incredible ability to change—this is called neuroplasticity. Scientists have recently discovered that your brain can form new neural pathways at any age. In other words, those well-worn roads in your brain? You can build new ones.
In the same way these old pathways (patterns) were formed, you can now form new pathways that are more aligned with who you are and how you want to go through life. The more you practice new thoughts and behaviors, the more you’ll reinforce those new roads in your brain, and over time, they’ll become your new way of being.
A little example: Your subconscious might be thinking: I’m not a sportive person, while you’re trying to work out more – that won’t go well, I promise you that. In this case, you have to work on your believe anout yourself and rewire it, by repeating your new belief and identity of being a sporty person. Every time you work out, you’ll reinforce your belief of being a sporty person, until it’s your automatic pathway. Then it becomes a lifestyle for you to workout, and you are a sporty person, no more doubts about that!
Take this example: You may have told yourself for years, ‘I’m just not a sporty person,’ but now you want to work out more. If that old belief is still running the show in your subconscious, it’s going to be a struggle. But once you start to rewrite that belief—by telling yourself ‘I enjoy moving my body’, and then following through with consistent action—you’ll start to rewire your brain. Every time you work out, you’re reinforcing the belief that you are someone who enjoys exercise. Over time, this becomes your new identity. No more struggle, it’s just who you are now.
Awareness is about bringing what’s been hidden in the shadows into the light. You can’t change what you don’t see. And the more you shine a light on those automatic patterns, the more power you have to choose a new way forward. This is the beauty of becoming more conscious—you get to decide what stays and what goes.
Rewiring Your Brain for Change
So, now that we know the science behind change, how do we go about this? Here are the steps written out for you:
This is the awareness-part. Observe yourself without judgment. Notice the thoughts you repeat, the behaviors you default to, and the emotions that keep pulling you into the past. Write down the thoughts that no longer serve you—like “I’m not good enough” or “Things never work out for me.” Putting them on paper helps you see them for what they are: old stories that no longer define your future.
Once you become aware of the old patterns, it’s time to consciously choose new ones. For instance, if you’re feeling anxious, shift your focus to a moment of gratitude or safety. This shift can help break the cycle of negativity and foster a more uplifting mindset. Don’t aim to overhaul your entire personality at once. Focus on small, meaningful wins—like celebrating moments of patience or compassion—and let your brain build on them.
Repetition is key. The more often you practice new thoughts and behaviors, the stronger those new neural pathways become. Over time, they’ll become your default mode of being.
The esteemed Dr. Rick Hanson points out the power of learning from experiences, especially those rich in emotions and novelty, as they play a key role in forming new neural connections. Emotional experiences are encoded more deeply into our memory through the amygdala and hippocampus.
Hanson suggests focusing on experiences that bring feelings of safety, contentment, and connection, as these are the core needs of the brain. By consciously seeking out and amplifying these experiences, our brain rewires itself to seek out more of these states, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life.
Now that you know how we’re wired and why change can be so challenging, you can not only approach yourself with more compassion, but actually starts the process of change without frustrating to much. This journey isn’t about pushing or forcing—it’s about understanding how your mind and body work together, and giving yourself the grace to transform at your own pace.
The more awareness you bring into your life, the more power you have to create lasting change. And with each small step forward, you’re creating the life you’ve always dreamed of.
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I’m Mo, the dreamer behind The Lemonade Movement.
That little girl with the big dream you read about? Yep, that’s me! And while I’m not so little anymore, my dream of creating a world filled with love and positivity is still that big 😉
